But I Don't Want to be an Advocate!

All the sudden, I became an anti-death penalty advocate.

Twitter is basically my connection to the world (thanks, agoraphobia), so I began to take meaning in petitioning government officials about inmates on death row. I also petitioned my representatives about hunger policy both in the US and worldwide.

It all has a very hopeless feel. The bajillions of people I'm watching on the death penalty list seem to be the victims of state governments who value death over mercy. As for hunger advocacy, my reps seem more interested in cutting spending. Sigh.

I curl up on the couch every day and snuggle in with a book, but I can't stop thinking. Three different people have told me I think too much, but I can't seem to turn that off. I'd do anything to be able to change the world, but various illnesses keep me down. Writing letters and emails is easy (well, comparatively--you handwrite three letters begging for clemency in a row and you're going to get drained). It's the hard work of love that I really want to do though, and I have a back and several mental conditions that say otherwise.

What do I care about? I want to care about my own little society--just this little corner of Texas. (I also care about West Texas--it's hard to leave behind.) I joined a Facebook group that looks out for Denton's homeless and transients. I care about my lower-middle class neighborhood and how the only grocery store within walking distance has shut down. I worry about my neighbors because they have a slumlord for a landlord. I care about setting up a Little Free Library in the front yard filled with English, Spanish, and bilingual children's books (I need to do a post just on the little library). I care about Columbia, MO, and its homeless and the grad students at Mizzou. That's when things start getting too huge for me. I've been depressed lately, and I think I'm doing it to myself.

I just wanted to be kind.

I'm well known for self-important blog posts, so I apologize if I come across as the "poor me" version of that girl who penned the article about being too sexy to live a normal life (look that one up if you want to really despair for humanity). In the meantime, I should probably go back to bed.

(Apologies also for being rusty. My eyes bugged out when I realized I hadn't blogged since July.)