Friday, November 29, 2013

Those Pesky Numbers

Remember when I said, "Screw veg"? Well, it's back on. Chris got a call from my doctor, and since I've given them permission to reveal test results to him, they told him my cholesterol's too high. Wonderful! Just pile it on!

(I don't know why they call Chris instead of me. Apparently I filled out the paperwork wonkily.)

Here's the thing: Chris has been known to have cholesterol levels in the 200's, but when his blood work came back, they said nothing about it. He's been taking red rice yeast (red yeast rice? yeast rice red? I dunno) and 500 mg of niacin for some time now, and it may have actually worked! Who'da thunk? So I may just adopt his protocol as mine and see how it turns out--seems better than adding another pharmaceutical to the list of five meds for depression and a thyroid pill.

That's all the news that's fit to print. Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving, which is an absolutely splendid holiday. We had tempeh and dressing and sweet potatoes and some really poorly-made gravy (I don't recommend tapioca starch as a thickener, but what is one to do when one can't have regular flour?), and it was all cooked up in a 1.5 quart crockpot in layers. Kitchen technology is amazing. Anyway, we had Thanksgiving for breakfast since Chris had to work from 1:00 to 7:00 that evening. Kinda fun. :)

Happy holiday shopping season, gentle readers.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

So I Have a Five Year Plan ... and I'm Thirty

First thing's first: AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Screw veg! I just want to eat like a normal person! Of course, that's out the window thanks to Chris's health issues. I know I just need to cook more: When I do cook, I always use whole grains and fresh veggies. I have Mark Bittman cookbooks such as so and this one waiting in the wings till it's released, so it's not like we can't eat well. It's just ... I get these ideas in my head about what's best, and eventually I catch an adherent saying something crazy like, "I don't eat honey/beans/grains," and I think, "I've joined the culinary looney bin." I will eat, and eventually I will die because no diet has yet to grant immortality. Heaven help me.

Anyway, the five year plan.

I'm tired of sitting on my useless duff, writing stories (which I haven't done in, like, a month) and knitting, so I have some goals.

  • Get healthy (vague expression, I know, but there's nothing more concise)
  • Learn to manage my depression so that when it's at its height I'm not a complete basketcase
  • When I'm 35, reassess how I feel and how I'm doing, and if the lights are all green, become a CNA
I get frustrated when I don't improve by leaps and bounds immediately, and, let's face it, these are things which won't improve immediately. So it'll be back to gentle yoga and small walks until I'm up for more. And there's a chance that at 35 I will still be sick, in which case I will resign myself to a life of knitting and cleaning up. But if that's not the case, I want to be out of the house, shaking my little fist at all my fears and anxieties, and working a somewhat meaningful job. 

When I was up north in the old country (Missouri), my mom sat beside me in bed while I laid there feeling like dying and said that after her surgery, she had to get up and do things or she never would be strong again. And she wondered if I needed to get up and do things for that same reason. Naturally, I'm inclined to say that I have unfixable problems and just need to rest, but that's probably not true. So tomorrow (well, actually, today--it's 3:30 AM), I'm getting up and cleaning up a little and getting on the exercise bike and going to therapy--all the good stuff. And then Chris will get home at 7:00, and we'll eat dinner and probably watch Doctor Who and then go to bed. And I won't feel guilty because I think I wasted a day. 

So what think you?

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Lament

Wow ... the last time I blogged was to put up my Christmas list? Sorry about that.

So it's 4:30 in the morning, I'm drinking a fruity tea (Comfort & Joy, the Christmas tea) that was not made to be mixed with coconut milk or maple syrup (both in there), I'm reading the Oh She Glows blog, and I'm navel gazing. I'm fat--don't care. I'm unhealthy--do care. And I'm not the only one: Chris is pre-diabetic. What's the point in getting good insurance and a good doctor if you're only going to get bad news?!

(They think I have diverticulitis, btw.)

The mastermind behind the Oh She Glows blog (which is a wonderful name for a blog, I might add) struggled with eating disorders for a long time. This resulted in period problems, which I too have,  thanks to PCOS. So I can't help but feel a little kinship. Right now, I'm perusing her gluten free recipes and pinning them to Pinterest as I see fit.

After failing at veganism and lambasting that little experiment, I've decided to do it again. Except I call it "veg". Veg means I'm not going to hate myself if, when I'm going out to eat, I'm forced to eat gluten-free bread that contains eggs--I mean, I can make gluten-free bread with chia eggs at home, but gluten-free bread without some kind of binder is near impossible. And in a non-veg world, that means the most easily accessible thing: eggs.

Oh, how I miss the days of going out hiking and, even though I was the fat girl, being able to hoof it just fine. Now I'm a mess. I need to get back into eating right and doing yoga and traipsing across the plains of North Texas. The dream of making it to Guadalupe Peak still exists. Meanwhile, this is ideal weather for hiking. Well, almost--I can bundle up for the cold temps, but the rain needs to stop for a while. And looking at the weather ... well, good luck with that. (Snow on Sunday and Monday, apparently.)

Anyway, I need to go finish cleaning some raspberries (because it's raspberry season, you know) for breakfast cookies that I'm making. Navel gazing over. Chandler--OUT!