Tuesday, July 31, 2012

What To Do ...

I can't speak for Chris, but I'm still reeling from the choice not to have kids. I told him yesterday that the choice both saddens and thrills me: Whenever I get down about it being just him and me forever, I suddenly think, "Travel!!!" It's up and down. There's just such a terrifying finality to it.

I found myself stuck between two worlds and have finally given up on one. Sweet Grapes stresses that you make the choice to live without children, so I turned to the childless-by-choice community. What a loathsome bunch. Let's just say that I didn't fit in because I'm not a militant atheist and I don't hate children. And I do mean hate. I like the little boogers (children, I mean--not the childless-by-choice crowd)! They're hilarious! I like that when I help with homeschoolers, the littlest one of one of my families insists on being picked up ten thousand times and always asks, "Am I heavy?" (My reply? "You're still not heavy.") The childless-by-choice crowd wants "adult spaces" to be free of children so they can do adult things ... like talk about children all the time. They display such selfishness and immaturity that they can only be called children themselves. There, I said it. Now I've buried that portion of my life and spat on its grave, and I shall move on.

When I think about it, I guess I didn't really make too much of a choice. I didn't come at this from an angle of just not wanting children. My angle was having PCOS and depression that varied from non-existant to major force interrupting my life. It wasn't that I didn't want children--it's that I felt unfit to have children. So I looked up the childless-not-by-choice crowd, and I felt much more at ease. In fact, a rather lovely blog on the subject introduced me to Savvy Auntie, a community that recognizes the oft-overlooked importance of the aunts of the world. There are lots of women there who can't have children of their own and many who've chosen not to have children so they can love on their nieces and nephews. (Guess there is hope for the world.) According to the Savvy Auntie book, about 50% of women of childbearing age in the US don't have any children. Crazy, huh? I'm not alone!

Anyway, this was meant to be that list of things I plan on doing without kids until I got all ramble-y, so I should get to that.

I'm going to Disney World! You laugh--or not--at this miserably cliched joke, but it's true. Chris insists that Disney World isn't really for children anyway. Plus, we have plans (for whenever we have a life again) to go in November when the art fair takes place. I can get back to the noble business of tweeting, "Oops--bought art!" again!

I'm going to travel during the off-season! Summer is the season of travel, it seems, but there are only two places I want to be in summer: 1) in my house, in the air conditioning; and 2) in Maine. Right now, the plan for Chris's spring break is to go up to Kansas and hopefully stay on a working ranch. And hopefully it won't be as snowy as it was one state north in Nebraska when we went there for spring break to see the sandhill cranes.

I'm going to collect art! My lifelong godmother (as opposed to my Orthodox godmother) and her husband said they collected Japanese prints as their substitute for children. Chris and I have huge amounts of wall space in our house just crying out for expensive art. And I'd totally branch out into sculpture, but the dogs would just pee on it.

I'm going to photograph everything! Like this cake mix I took a picture of at Christmas!

Weird choice, but it's a pretty good picture. And damn good cake.
DSLR for color, film for black & white. Maybe I'll sell some pictures on Etsy. Who knows. We'll see.

I'm going to write! Yes! It's time to use that degree! I already have some ideas in my head that would be good YA (young adult) novels (I'm poorly suited for the grown-up stuff). I seem focused on mental illness, so perhaps I can have some impact on the kids even if I never raise them.

I guess that's all I have for now. Maybe there'll be more later. Oh, and Chris showed me the stats on the blog--thank you to all my readers worldwide, especially the Russians! You guys made my day!

1 comment:

LSB said...

I like your plans. Can I go on some of those trips???