Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Dear former owners of Hamilton: I hate you.

People like you shouldn't be allowed to even think of having a dog. You had the sweetest, most loving, cuddliest dog on earth, and what did you do? You dumped him out in the middle of nowhere because you got tired of him. Where you tired of him marking everything? We had him neutered, which has remedied the problem. Where you tired of him barking? You could have tried crate training him. Had he lost your interest because he was no longer a puppy? Then you're all idiots--puppies grow up into dogs. If you've replaced him with a new puppy, I hope in a year's time you dump that dog in the same place so we can take him in and find him a new home with owners who care.

We know you dumped Hamilton miles from any civilization because Chris found him hanging out at the prison. Just because he's an animal doesn't mean he can survive on his own in the wild. The workers at the prison knew that--that's why they had plans to kill him. You really couldn't have put out the effort to find a new home for him? You couldn't have put him in a shelter? Even shelters that euthanize animals don't put them down by shooting them.

Last night, when Hamilton was being a toot, Chris lightly tapped him on the rear with a wooden spoon. This caused Hamilton to tuck his tail between his legs and sink to the floor. That was the first time we'd ever seen him shrink like that. So let's go down the list: You hit him with sticks violently enough to traumatize him, you dumped him at a prison, and he was almost killed inhumanely. Great job--CPS will be coming for you if you treat your kids that way.

I'm amazed that Hamilton is such a wonderful dog considering the hell you've put him through. He curls up in our laps an goes to sleep, he dances on his hind legs when he's waiting for dinner, he goes crazy with excitement when Chris comes home from work--he even frickin' smells good!! He's all love, and I don't know what more you could've wanted from a dog. You are bastards, and we hate your guts. Your loss (and stupidity) is our gain.

Good riddance,
Hammy's new parents

1 comment:

childless (for now) said...

WOW!!! Such powerful words, Chandler! All true (sadly), but VERY powerful!!!