(Your book(s) asked to write you a personal note - it seemed unusual, but who are we to say no?)
Holy canasta! It's me... it's me! I can't believe it is actually me! You could have picked any of over 2 million books but you picked me! I've got to get packed! How is the weather where you live? Will I need a dust jacket? I can't believe I'm leaving Mishawaka, Indiana already - the friendly people, the Hummer plant, the Linebacker Lounge - so many memories. I don't have much time to say goodbye to everyone, but it's time to see the world!
I can't wait to meet you! You sound like such a well read person. Although, I have to say, it sure has taken you a while! I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but how would you like to spend five months sandwiched between Hamlet (bipolar) and Fundamentals of Thermodynamics (pyromaniac)? At least Hamlet was an upgrade from that stupid book on brewing beer. How many times did the ol' brewmaster have one too many and topple off our shelf at 2am?
I know the trip to meet you will be long and fraught with peril, but after the close calls I've had, I'm ready for anything (besides, some of my best friends are suspense novels). Just five months ago, I thought I was a goner. My owner was moving and couldn't take me with her. I was sure I was landfill bait until I ended up in a Better World Books book drive bin. Thanks to your socially conscious book shopping, I've found a new home. Even better, your book buying dollars are helping kids read from Brazil to Botswana.
But hey, enough about me, I've been asked to brief you on a few things:
You chose Standard shipping.
You can expect your order to arrive in 4-14 business days.
If you have any questions or concerns, please email my friends in Customer Care at email@example.com. If you could please include your order number that would be very helpful.
Eagerly awaiting our meeting,
George III: A Personal History
Memories of Anne Frank: Reflections of a Childhood Friend
The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the Making of The Oxford English Dictionary
The Rushdie File (Contemporary Issues in the Middle East)
Reinvesting in America: The Grassroots Movements That Are Feeding the Hungry, Housing the Homeless, and Putting the Americans Back to Work
The Language of Silence: West German Literature and the Holocaust
The Life of Charlemagne (Ann Arbor Paperbacks)
The Crisis of the Old Order: 1919-1933, The Age of Roosevelt, Volume I (The Age of Roosevelt)
Bookmark Now: Writing in Unreaderly Times
On Royalty: A Very Polite Inquiry into Some Strangely Related Families
The Rest Is Noise: Listening to the Twentieth Century
Now I invite you to guess who ordered which books, me or Chris?