Saturday, July 5, 2008

An utterly self-indulgent post

But it's my blog, right? I'll do as I please.

Many a soul would post the things they love and the things they hate in their self-indulgent blog posts. Ever the nonconformist, I'll now commence with a list of my own: Things I Hate to Love and Things I Love to Hate. A duo of top ten lists for you ... because if I didn't limit myself, you'd hate me.

THINGS I HATE TO LOVE
10. Soda - Especially Dr Pepper. Tastes so good, yet causes weight gain and sleepless nights. And don't tell me that diet sodas are all the fun and none of the guilt--they don't taste the same and make me homicidal because the fake sweetness screws up my blood sugar something fierce.
9. My garden - Bug bites, sunburn, uneven tanning, higher water bills, strange cats in my yard munching on my catnip ... yet nibbling on a Wenk's yellow hot makes it all worth it.
8. Goats - So cute. But I'll never have enough room to keep one as a pet.
7. Math - I love math, and I'm not ashamed to say it!! ... but it is kind of weird, isn't it?
6. LibriVox - I've finally told myself that I can't keep downloading books from here because I don't have enough time. So my queue is about 20 books long. At least it's free.
5. iPods - I resisted so long. But they're so great. Now I just have about 40 books on the thing that I need to work through.
4. The BBC - Why aren't there any American news outlets that are this good? Or funny? The annoying thing is that I know an inordinate amount about British politics, which is helpful in exactly no situations.
3. Owning four cats - It's mad, an utterly crazy thing. They're expensive, they stink up the place, and they're filled with "pointies" (teeth and claws) ... but I wouldn't trade in a single one for anything.
2. Snow crab - I love snow crab. I used to eat it every chance I got. But it turns out that, while on the mission to get my snow crab, someone probably died a miserable death in icy waters off the coast of Alaska. I don't eat snow crab anymore, partially because of that and partially because it's darned expensive and I have to pay my own way now that I'm an adult.
1. The Game Cube - We have a major announcement coming up about the Game Cube, but until then know that I can't seem to stop ... playing .....

THINGS I LOVE TO HATE
10. Robert Mugabe - I realize that a lot of you may not know what I'm talking about because most news outlets would rather drone on for another day about gas prices than report real news. Those of you who do know what I'm talking about probably also know what I mean.
9. FARC - I'm relishing their decline.
8. Books with the author's name larger than the title of the book - I won't read them. I refuse to. The only exception is if the author is dead and has no say over what the book looks like. But this says to the world that the author is more important than what's being said, and the topic shouldn't matter as long as you're reading a book by this person! Vomit.
7. Books with the author's picture on the front - See above.
6. Earbuds - Those teeny-weeny headphones you stuff in your ears. Ouchy. Give me the giant clunkers any day.
5. Modernism - I'll just say, "Art suicides," and leave it at that.
4. PCs - Oh my dear Mac! How I love thee! Gimme a big ol' hug!
3. Meat substitutes - I could rant on about this crap all day. I don't dislike tofu when it's eaten as tofu in, say, a stir fry. But when you dress it up like chicken then I can't help but roll my eyes. And don't you have to wonder about vegans who are so desperate for meat that they'll eat fake meat? I also shun faux cheese and fake eggs, but I prefer soy milk to the real thing.
2. T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland" - How can people like this?! This poem is a piecemeal mess of allusions! Give me "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" any day, thank you.
1. Air horns - Why are these available to the public?

2 comments:

PeWee said...

I MUST check out Librivox! What are some of the books you've downloaded?

Jason & Fawnda said...

I think that it is cool that you love math! ;)